The Nine of Swords is a card of worry, doubt and fear realized. When it shows up there is usually much on your plate and you are afraid that everything will fall apart.
This card also speaks to guilt and shame and serves as a warning that depression maybe closing in.
Life has been feeling, or is beginning to feel, out of control and you are not sure how you will make it through. You see obstacles everywhere you look and you are finding it hard to breathe.
You are worried about the meaning in it all. You assume you have gone astray, lost your path, and you have no idea how to find your way. Your self-talk of late has been harsh and you hold yourself to blame for so many things, things that do not even belong to you. There appears to be a battle on every front, especially with your head.
The Nine of Swords shows up as a cautionary sign. Beware, Love, you are allowing fear to run the show and despair is setting in. If you are not careful, it will engulf you. However, just the act of bringing awareness into the situation, into the fear, is a step into love.
There are two emotions that everything comes from: love and fear. And truly, there is only love - fear is an illusion. Although in this moment fear feels very real, it is the fact that you believe in it that makes it real. So what if instead you choose to believe in love? What if you see the fear for what it is: False Expectations Appearing Real.
This card is appearing now to remind you that this darkness you feel does not have to produce fear. We all move into darkness sometimes. If we didn't, we would not truly know the light. Step back out of the fear and just be still in the darkness; there is light in there somewhere. One cannot exist without the other. Think of the yin/yang. There is always at the very least a little of one in the other.
Find stillness, and wait for the light to shine. It will; it always does. The one thing you can always, without doubt, count on is that things will change. Change is the only true constant. Know with all you are that this too shall pass. Try to just be with the darkness. Try to let go of the idea that it is bad or wrong. Let go of good and right as well and just be. Be who you truly are, and watch, wait and listen. The quiet stillness will soothe your soul.
P.S. Remember to reach out to your people. We were never meant to do everything alone. Connection is key!
Today's Meditation:
Step into your sacred space, find stillness, relax. Set a timer for 10-20 minutes. Breath deeply, slowly, mindfully. Place your right hand in the center of your chest and experience the vibration that is you. Become defenseless, open to love, the love you are made of.
Silently to yourself, or out loud, repeat the mantra: "I release judgment of myself and others. I trust in myself."
When your timer goes off, be still for as long as you can. Feel the freedom and know you are meant to be your truest self. Enjoy the way it feels.
